The Home Stretch.. Ten Left.

I'm taking care to check in at 5.36 miles, so as to leave ten miles even remaining on the walk. That way, i'll know when i've actually done it, and i don't have to do math and realize that i was on my way to a porta-potty or dancing the macarena when i actually crossed the line. Even though i've lost countless pedometers and walked hundreds of miles without count and yes maybe even shaken it sometimes standing still but shut up. This is the official crossing. We're down to it. I expect this will end Saturday.

We've crossed over into the state of New York, and headed straight for this:


As for me, i haven't put too much thought into where exactly i'd like to be when the pedometer clicks 10.00 for the last time, but i suppose that's somewhat fitting for the project- the point is, i'm not in New York. I'll be in San Francisco, and chances are, i'll be at work.


Look for the final entry within the next few days. As promised, i will be announcing something of moderate significance, and likely kissing maximum butt to my single digit supporters throughout this whole ordeal. That must mean you, right? Signing off for the second to last time..


Two Days Distance: 5.36 miles

Total Distance Covered: 2,560 miles

Approaching Manhattan..

Welcome to New Jersey. Gary Sinise, Everyone.

Well this is the opposite of the problem i've had all year, now i'm passing through states faster than i can say anything about them, and Pennsylvania and Maryland are older than Brett Favre, and i'm already through Newark and within spitting distance of the New York City skyline. So welcome to Jersey. Come on already.


As you might guess, that there's the flag. Which i thought might look either like this:


or this:


Get it? Yeah, that's okay. This is America's favorite blog whether you do or not. That's the new 'tude. I also abbreviate whenever i need to. No excuses. I can post late at night, too. Whatever. I think i'm having a meltdown. We're 16 miles from the Brooklyn Bridge. This thing is over. I'm panicking. I don't know if i can take this damn pedometer off. It's going to feel like a body part is missing if i stop wearing it. I might turn into Lieutenant Dan.



Four Days Walkin': 24.20 miles

Total Distance Covered: 2,554.64 miles

Leaving Newark, New Jersey

A Taste of South Philly

Welcome to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, a state i've already wrecked talking about by referencing the Philly "Phanatic" and Donovan McNabb a few weeks back. What's left now, you ask? Well, plenty. For starters, here's the flag:


Hey, i know the the artist who designed that one! I think he might have been behind that prestigious art movement that swept the nation with the introduction of drugs powerful enough to make people want something like this:


on their living room wall. And look at it for a month straight. And ask it for help making a grilled cheese sandwich. And tell everybody about the John Bonham solo that changed their life forever. And forget to vote.

The other thing i can't help thinking about is the bad sandwich chain i like to visit when i'm feeling like John Candy, or stuck at the mall. It's called SteakEscape and their motto is "A Taste of South Philly!" This is despite the fact that they are based out of Ohio. This makes me like SteakEscape.

And the fact that they used to honor 10% off for students, but then revoked the offer. And i feel like i'm pioneering my own independent research study of America's problems every time i try to enjoy a stupid sandwich there. In other, far better news, today averylongwalk was named America's favorite blog. Easier than i'd ever imagined.



Six Days Walking: 41.47 miles

Total Distance Covered: 2,530.44 miles

Leaving Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

The Small Wonder

This is my 100th time checking in on this walking project, and today it finds us marching into Wilmington, which is not in fact the capital of Delaware, as i once learned by losing a stupid bet.

Speaking of stupid, here's me the last time i was in Delaware. I'm playing in a cardboard box next to the highway, wearing a "shredder" shirt with my hat on sideways. What did you do when you were nineteen?


Last month, a nineteen year old named Andrew Brush won a City Counsel seat in Delaware, Ohio. But i suppose that doesn't count. We never went to Ohio. And he only needed 300 votes. Whatever, Andrew. Wilmington, Delaware goes by three nicknames. Can you pick the one that actually doesn't exist?

a) the chemical capital of the world
b) the corporate capital of the world
c) the credit card capital of the world
d) the capital of the universe

Judging by those first three, Wilmington sounds pretty darn important. Which is funny, because, the only time i've ever had to stop there was to get more gas pumped into my greyhound, and to urinate. But, you know. It happens.




Five Days Walking: 30.79 miles

Total Distance Covered: 2,488.97 miles

Wilmington, Delaware

I Got 99 Entries

And Earl Weaver ain't one. Oh wait, of course he is. Welcome to Maryland, The Old Line state, 7th of the Union, state boat of course being the skipjack, state dinosaur being the Astrodon Johnstoni. Find him here. as for the rest of the state, you might know it as proud bearer of this confusing flag:


We've walked from D.C. to Baltimore in a week's time, and this was the kind of rapid-fire progress i was talking about last year, when we were meandering aimlessly through Nevada deserts, pining for a better day ahead. Baltimore is a helluva town, and she's got a history longer than the list of people i wish i could peel the stickers from the bill of their new gangster/pokemon patterned baseball hats. Did that make sense? Did you know that it was during the War of 1812 in a bombardment of this fair city that the star spangled banner was written? Did you know that bees and dogs can smell fear?


Speaking of smelling fear, Earl Weaver coached in Baltimore. He was probably the most "spirited" coach in baseball history, with the exception of Hal McRae in that one famous press conference that you might want to look up sometime. Think you've ever been angry? Well, just take a gander at Earl.
I give myself a lot of credit after watching something like that. I could throw a deck chair through somebody's front teeth and still be more respectable than that guy. That guy makes me feel like an Astrodon Johnstoni.




Another Week's Worth: 38.23 miles

Total Distance Covered: 2,458.18 miles

Baltimore, Maryland

Welcome to Federal City

One minute you're lost in Nevada desert chasing after mirages of Dennis Kucinich's wife, and the next thing you know, you've walked over two thousand miles all the way to Washington D.C. I'm approaching the National Mall in "Federal City," as it was dubbed in the 19th Century, before we came up with the far less romantic nickname " murder capital of the world." But really, for all the flak i toss at America, i do love Washington, and the whole scene at our nation's capital.

This might be the appropriate moment to include my favorite picture ever taken of a US president:


I suppose that would probably also have to be my selection for favorite pic of a russian president too. I probably didn't have to be so dramatic about it. Oh, wait. i almost forgot about this one.


Yeah, see, now we have a problem. I will suspend my vote until i finish a little research on the context behind each of these, and come forward at a later date with a definite answer. It all depends on whether or not Boris knew Bill was about to "whip it out" or if Putin is about twist the head clean off that dog.

Moving on. We're 151 miles from our destination. There are 28 days left in the year. That's 5.35 miles a day. We're almost there.


One Week Walking: 43.79

Total Distance Covered: 2,419.95 miles

Washington D.C.