Thursday, November 09, 2006

IKEA is pregnant

the third pedometer is gone. this whole system is flawed, which isnt as bad as Trent Reznor's whole existence being flawed, but it's still a drag when you want to walk across the freakin US. you have to wonder how many times you'd manage to lose it walking through the desert. i'm going to go with NEVER personally, seeing as how nothing happens in Nevada in between gas stations, besides the lives of ground snakes and weevles and that kind of thing. My next project is going to be to live in IKEA for an entire week, eating swedish meatballs and cinnamon rolls and hanging out in the fully assembled kitchens, waiting to be offered an official sponsorship. i'm a quarter norweigan after all, i thought they'd notice that the second i walked in that joint.

the fourth pedometer is coming. and so is manhattan. maybe even in 2007, which is approaching exponentially faster than hale-bop. also, i'm still very much alive.

pity miles: 21 miles

total distance crossed 275.61 miles

lovelock, nevada

here are some rad bros moving their mining camp to lovelock. they obviously had the right idea. about two thousand people have joined them to make lovelock the pride of pershing county. 10 percent of the population is pacific islander, so you might find a spam musubi, and 7 percent is native american, so you might see one of them on television and the subtitles might read "native american chanting..."

1 Comments:

At 5:15 PM , Blogger A l y s s a said...

Okay, I have a few questions:

First, how are you determining where you are? I mean, are you using a tape measure? Second, are these pedometers equipped with self-destruct mechanisms? How is it possible that you can lose one once a month?

That was like six questions. I got more, but I want to give you a chance to defend yourself.

Here are some great things about Manhattan:

a. jsf
b. there's a 1-800 number to find the nearest starbucks
c. everyone there is hip
d. the lights are brighter

It's cold in Colorado--how's Lovelock?

 

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