Coming to Decisions

I've come to a couple decisions lately, on things that were once up in the air. For one, i've decided that i've lost my pedometer again, and not just misplaced it under my bed, bo jackson poster, typewriter, or girlfriend. It seems genuinely gone, and it's time to accept it. This most recent pedometer lasted at least five long months, making it by far the most faithful to date. It lost all but one button, the one i needed, and went for about a thousand miles. Sigh.

In more positive news, i have also come to the decision that i need to support my lifestyle by coming up with a hair brained scheme that will land me enough money so that i dont have to sell jeans, clean a toilet, or hold eight-hour long conversations about nothing with people that make me a shallower and overall dumber human being. SO i've come to the decision that my entire family lineage (essentially being Scandinavian and horrifically tall) has all led up to my birth for one specific purpose. I am going to catch Barry Bonds' 755th homerun, and sell it for three million dollars. When Barry breaks Aaron's all-time homerun record in either June or July, there will be nonstop media buzz about the worthiness of his title as king/slugger/guru, but there will be NO doubt that the ball itself will sell for millions. Millions of US dollars. And those millions will be mine, as soon as i catch it.

The thing is, i've never gotten a ball at a game before, and i think i'm about due. I've been to eight games already this season, and they are starting to land really close to me. Couple this with the fact that i've been forcing my girlfriend to play catch with me at least twice a week (unknowing of my plan to get rich) ((if i DO catch it, please don't tell her)) and i'm getting really good, and by that i mean i can throw it at her hard enough that she gets pissed off. Hence, good.

And so my real decision is that the defining purpose of me coming to San Francisco, and being born and tall in the first place, is probably due to the fact that i'm going to catch this ball pretty soon. Also, imagine how big of a deal it's going to be after i call it months in advance on this shitty website! All five of you reading will be famous for having known me before i flew in a gulf stream five, snorting blow out of K-Fed's belly button. I'm looking forward to this, enough that i've begun drafts of my two week's notice to leave work. Stay tuned, and please believe.

Another Week's Wanderings: 39.91 miles

Total Wandering Accomplished: 1,391.25 miles

Now Leaving: Skiddy, Kansas