2,000 miles

i've walked over two-thousand miles since i started counting last september, and golly am i consistent. or should i say, pedometers are accurate. i walked the second thousand miles within a week's time as the first. maybe that isn't amazing. how about... this??

i don't think there are too many folks out there who wouldn't find this amazing. placement of inflatable jumping jesus hinges on a LOT of rules, including both powerline and high heel avoidance, not to mention the obvious potential guilt for using the son of god as a foofcastle.

i did about two seconds of research today on simpsonville, kentucky, before diving headfirst down my third story trash chute in fit of terror- what i uncovered, 2,000 miles from the sanctimonious red gates of san francisco, was something so hideous, a creature so vile that it could only exist in the remotest of fields in rural Kentucky. ALPACAS!

what the hell is that thing? it looks like it escaped from a test tube at skywalker ranch in a bizarre experiment with nicole ritchie's DNA. apparently these things are entirely domesticated and originate from the high mountain ranges of the Andes of Ecuador. So, really, flatland Kentucky makes sense. This research has led me to a number of near-epiphanies about what exactly it is that i love about this country, but every time i think i've narrowed it down, something gets thrown into the gears that i have to imagine is the chip they planted in the back in my neck that says to turn on the presidential debate, maybe you'll develop a mature opinion about the war of your own. silly me. silly alpacas. buy more mercedes. eat chips.


Three Day's Distance: 22.01 miles

Total Distance Covered: 2,006.91 miles

Simpsonville, Kentucky