The Last Great Sacking Of Lawrence..
We've arrived in Lawrence, the shining ruby magic exception gem of conservative, flatlanded Kansas! Many a fine tale has been woven here on Massachusetts Ave, many a jagged hill bombed by razor scooter, many a scar earned doing so, many a campus peed on by vandals bearing striking resemblances to lemurs...
see what i mean? This particular lemur has the distinct honor of being the only subject matter/object of ridicule to occupy two separate posts on this website, of course excluding references to the great George Brett. Congrats!Speaking of which, i can vaguely make out a skyline in the distance. What could it be? I've seen nothing but haybales and conflicting signs debating the morality of pornshops and the anger of God and half-priced priced bargain blowouts on arabic pony porn, next exit. Kind of makes a man want to settle down. I am, of course, referring to the great Kansas City, which awaits us at the very next stop. 26 miles, my babies, and bet your gold nugget the Royals will be in town.
But let's live in the now. Now we're in Lawrence, seen here being sacked in 1863. Our arrival also marks a significant crossover into official "potential civil war material" zone. At any point from now on, i might draw upon Civil War history to illuminate your lives with what i picked up from Mr. Pa'a, my high school Geog and US History teacher. Thanks to him, i learned to associate US geography solely via the NFL, and come to recognize Tennessee as the "dick-shaped state" belonging to "Mimal" the elf. More on that soon.Knowing Lawrence, everybody there right now is probably concerned with the invention of basketball or how many people can order ribs at Cracker Barrel before the joint runs out, and they've probably forgotten all about their last great sacking. I imagine the first place i'll want to sack when the Royals win the pennant again will be Lawrence. It's a shame there isn't a landmark anniversary year coming up in the near future, we could organize a commemorative pillage by the All Star Game!
A Week's Voyage: 41.83 miles
Total Voyaging/Voyeuring: 1,478.32 miles
Lawrence, Kansas
posted by w.weston @ 10:37 PM
3 Comments
3 Comments:
I can't believe you didn't mention Abilene or Hayes in your trek acrost Kansas.
I bought a miner's lunchbox at an antique store in Hayes.
And Abilene has got a great rest stop.
Dirtbag.
Or is it Hays? I don't remember.
Love your sauce, WW.
If i remember correctly, the map says Hays, but roadsigns say Hayes.. I had a magical breakfast one morning in Hay(e)s once, in which the lemur stand-in from the photo was almost abducted by a cougar/widow/waitress who almost showed him the time of his life on the waffle grill, before we made the final push for KC... either way, great town. gandalf is from there. little known fact.
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