In Dependence of Happy Gas

Seeing as we're not far from Independence, Missouri, and Betsy Ross was a "fly ho" let's celebrate the 4th of July with a little pizazz.

Did you know that the first car was invented in 1408, and it ran on marijuana gasoline? Neither did i, until i met "The Cannibus Cheerleader" on the 71 bus back from Haight St. today. He sprouted out of a dirt planter outside of the boarded up GAP at the famed corner of Haight/Ashberry, and our bus ride would never be the same. He wore a raggedy (albeit fluffy) orange pimp hat, with flowers sewn to the top, and wielded a baton of long stemmed flowers and small balloons, which he claimed "used to be a baseball bat," a statement having nothing to do with the truth. At the top of his lungs, the cheerleader, with a smudgy but euphoric grin on his face, proceeded to make a series of incredible proclamations for the general public to enjoy, including:

* Santa Claus comes home with the munchies and the Easter Bunny loves grass.

* The Red Sox are the highest team in baseball, because a section of their outfield is exactly 420 feet from home plate.

* Betsy Ross sewed the first American flag with hemp, however she forgot to add the most important emblem, (the leaf) and Canada then stole the idea.

* Cars can run on a magical brand of fuel, called happygas.

This acid-induced tirade lasted a good twenty minutes, but not before he won over at least half the bus in sequestered spasms of laughter. Every time someone new broke down, he'd shake the flowery baton and shout, SEE! IT'S HAPPYGAS!!

Nobody can stay sane in this city after living here for more than a year or two. As i approach the dreaded anniversary of my Western voyage, i see now that i'm headed for my very own special place under the apricot tree.

Week's Walking: 45.78 miles

Total Distance Covered: 1,616.02 miles

Leaving Independence, Missouri